Day 19-21

Sometimes I wonder how I’ve managed to still be alive.  Not just alive, but to also have all my limbs in tact.

Yesterday a wild leopard came inches away from me. Then I followed it for 20 minutes. Later on I watched a wild elephant with giant tusks do his “you’re making me uncomfortable and I’m thinking about attacking you” dance.

Two days ago when I checked into my room at a lodge around the Kruger National Park, the grounds keeper told me not to walk around after dark because I am on a wildlife reserve and there aren’t any fences separating me from the wild animals. There was a lion roaming around a couple of weeks ago. Last month a security guard took his dinner to his room, fell asleep with the door open, a hyena came by to finish his dinner for him and went on to have him for desert. That’s comforting.

Last year, down in Gansbaai, I was told “sharks don’t eat humans, they prefer baby seals”. Without the thought even crossing my mind, I proceeded to don a black, head to toe wetsuit.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and in hindsight, with my barely 5 ft height, in the dark abyss of the ocean, I bare a striking resemblance to a baby seal.  

Then to really test the sharks, I jumped into a cage in the middle of the ocean while someone else threw fish blood and guts around me to try to attract the sharks towards me. All this just so I can come face to face with a 14 feet long great white shark.

Some may call it being adventurous. Some may call it having a death wish. I call it money well spent!

Money I’ve spent to learn a few survival skills, even though my instincts will tell me to do the complete opposite of those skills in times of need. Nature does tend to have a way of eliminating the weaker specie.

Here are some tips I've learned from experience on how to better avoid elimination:

When encountering sharks while swimming, don’t move.

If you run, a lion will chase you and eat you. If you bend down to tie your shoelaces, a lion will pounce on you and eat you. Walk tall and with a purpose and you can coexist with it.  It will either walk with you or walk away from you. 

A rhino doesn’t mind being followed just don’t get in between him and his food or him and his females. He’s built like a tank and will gladly plow down a human.

A leopard will rub his face on trees and grass to mark his territory. Stay out of his way.

Wild African male buffalos are always in a pissed off mood. Leave him alone.

When walking down a dirt road, the warthog has the right of way at all intersections.  He gets to cross the road first, always.

Don’t feed the baboons. Throw rocks at them.

When walking in the bush in Africa, wear long pants and sneakers.

At the end of the day, a piece of ostrich steak grilled medium rare can be much tastier than a beef filet mignon. Wildebeast is tough to chew and kudus taste much better when turned into biltong, air dried meat.

Next stop...Ghana. Stay tuned….